How to get my job: Karaoke host

By Thorin Klosowski Thu., Sep. 23 2010 at 9:00 AM

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​There are many jobs in this world. Some are so bizarre you probably don't know they exist; some you might have had no idea people actually make a living at. In an effort to highlight some of these jobs, we've started a new series detailing the origins of people actually working in the field. This week, we've tapped Keith Houston (aka Roger Niner), a karaoke host who got his start in Denver before moving off to California a few years ago.

Westword: Tell us a little about your history in karaoke.

Keith Houston:My most prominent introduction to karaoke was getting hooked on drinking and singing at some chain restaurant attached to the mall I was working at in Colorado Springs. We would go after work and booze it up. It was there I learned there are some good songs made for karaoke, so we would always sing the stuff no one knew. I was hooked. After a crappy day working for The Man, nothing felt better than belting out my favorite song to a crowd of welcoming strangers.

WW: Why did you decide to start working as a host, and when did you know it was what you wanted to do?

KH: I became a total karaoke junkie when I moved to Denver, hopping from karaoke night to karaoke night. There was a full week if you wanted to do it. I was either starved for attention or well on my way to becoming an alcoholic -- or both. After witnessing my all-out stage shenanigans and ability to work the crowd into a frenzy, some of the people running the shows asked me to start working for them. Things really took off when Quicksand Karaoke set me up for my very first karaoke playground at Bender's Tavern. They would set up, I would run the show, and we would split the profits. That show took off in its first month. I was getting paid to sing, act like an idiot and drink. Way more fulfilling than the theater program I just dropped out of. I've hosted shows at the 404, Charlie Brown's, Sobo 151, Lucky 13s and even a VFW bar down on South Broadway. After doing one-off gigs for various people for a couple of years, I moved to the Bay Area. I came into some money after my mother passed away, and used that to buy my own karaoke rig. Thus Roger Niner's Karaoke Extravaganza was born.

WW: How would you recommend someone get him or herself started in the field?

KH: Having a background in public speaking helps. A lot of great KJs I know were radio people, some with a theater background. Having some working knowledge of how to properly run a sound board is a must. A welcoming personality and sense of humor is key as well.

Running these shows is like inviting people into my house for a party. I want to make sure everyone is having a great time and people are feeling included. I also enjoy trying to get the wallflowers to come out of their shell a bit. Also, you need lots of patience -- you are going to be constantly bombarded with drunken renditions of very horrible songs. You'll also be treated by grown ups behaving like spoiled five year olds in some cases. Be firm but fair and remember they're drunk. You are there to ensure people leave the bar feeling good with stories to tell. Hopefully they come back to your shows week after week and hire you for a private event. Be prepared to spend some cash. You don't need top of the line gear, but a good sound makes all the difference. Karaoke songs are also a bit pricey, so have a set song budget in mind.

​

WW: Can you describe an average day?

I normally don't get home from a gig and in bed until three in the morning, so I try to sleep in until about noon. I spend some time on various karaoke websites, seeing what new songs are available. Maybe I'll learn a couple of songs for the week. This is key; it keeps your shows from feeling stale. I also like to research songs, trying to think of themes that I can ask my crowd to participate in. I disinfect the microphones and wipe down the karaoke songbooks so they don't smell like beer. Every six months or so, I print out new songbooks. Around 8:00 I pack up the car with my rig and head out to the bar. At last call, I start to wrap everything up, sit down for a bit to ease my aching bones (I jump around a lot during my shows), pack up the car and head home. I have about four regular shows a week, with an occasional wedding or party thrown in.

WW: What's the best part about your job?

KH: Getting paid to run around and sing is pretty awesome, but the best part for me is knowing I am providing a space for people to get lost in, to give them an opportunity to relax or spaz out or sit back and laugh at all of it. A good friend of mine lost his home in the housing market meltdown and he told me karaoke was the one thing keeping him sane because he could just let it all out, meet some new people and make some new friends. Karaoke can be very therapeutic. I like giving people the ability to feel like a hero, if just for one day.

WW: How about the biggest misconception?

KH: To me, karaoke, proper karaoke is not a talent show. You are not there to audition, so don't act like a diva and don't be shy. Make people laugh. Sing that song no one knows. You are there to sing in front of friends and strangers, and in some cases, strangers who have become good friends. You are not there to sound good; you are there to rock out. Even if you feel like you can't sing a note, don't be afraid to make a show of how bad you are. You will awe people just for that. And the people in the back, heckling you? Cowards. I don't see them brave enough to stand up and sing to a room full of strangers, do you? Go epic or go home.

WW: Anything you're particularly proud or embarrassed of?

KH: It's hard to be embarrassed at my job, especially when I do things like flop around like a dying fish on the bar while someone finishes singing "Epic" by Faith No More. I love the people who are terrified their first time singing, then sign up for three songs the next time the come by.

Opening for Slim Cessna's Auto Club with our karaoke performance group, The Hot Licks, was amazing. Getting invited to SXSW this year to host a panel on karaoke and social media was an honor, plus winning an iPad in a karaoke contest while there wasn't too shabby. But I am most proud of the long and lasting friendships I have made while doing what I do. Your patrons make your show. You are the host, but they are the talent.

Tags:

Karaoke host, Keith Houston, Roger Niner, Thorin Klosowski

Pandora's Box

Pandora Karaoke and Bar on Eddy and Taylor Streets has the potential to be BEST karaoke lounge in San Francisco!  There's a lot of class in this subterranean club.  They've got board games, wigs, hats, instruments, and most important reasonably priced heavy handed pours.  The mass quantities of booze I've seen come in and out of karaoke rooms at the end of the night are unreal.  Sometimes there's buckets of wasted booze!  Do you all really need to be THAT messed up to sing, or is it for those who must suffer your catterwalling to dampen the sound?  They JUST opened a sushi restaurant upstairs too!  They always had a kitchen with bar fare, but now they've upped the ante and raised the bar even higher.  They set the standard that future karaoke lounges will have to aspire to.  Hats off to you!

These girls work HARD for their money.  They hustle in and out of rooms with carts, bottle service is provided, great specials on rooms and happy hours.  Their bartenders are all beautiful in their own right.  Their manager isn't too shabby either.  Their security guys are even handsome.  They even have earbuds and wear black.  They resemble more Secret Servicemen than bouncers.  It's like you need a headshot and portfolio to work there besides a resume.  I have a lot of love for this place.  It combines the privacy of the Do-Re-Mi in Japantown with the usual bar karaoke scene.  Each room has a theme.  That's why I refer to it as the Power Exchange of karaoke.  If you remember the PE Annex when it was on Harrison and 7th Streets, each room had a differently themed from Egyptian Room, to Baroque Dining Room, to Dungeon.  They've got a Hello Kitty room and every other room has an alcohol beverage theme with matching color scheme, Crown Royal Room, Heineken Room, etc.


There's a stage in the bar lounge area with comfy modern decor and couches.  They have a different KJ Tuesday through Sunday nights in the public bar area outside of the private rooms.  My only complaint is that they need new instruments and games, but with all the debauchery that occurs it's hard to maintain things when people are beating them 'til they break and losing pieces to all the games. I'm sure it's low on the priority list of things to do because they are growing and expanding.  I only want it to thrive and wish I had a better job, so I could spend copious amounts of time and money here at my whimsy!  I miss my old hood when I could just walk there and stumble home drunk if I wanted to when I had a bad day.

A Good KJ: The Tell

A good karaoke jockey is often hard to find.  There are a lot of hacks out there that think they can bring their home karaoke system to a bar or club.  Then, they plug and play.  This simply is not so.  A lot of this equipment shouldn't be too expensive because drunk people will be abusing it.  You save your REALLY good equipment for home use only or private parties.  You bring your "B" equipment to the bar.  Some KJ's simply will NOT use cordless microphones because people will just walk out with them.  That, or patrons get in that diva zone and drop the mic like they're a real rapper.  It's fun to pretend.  We do it all the time when we sing, but you gotta respect your KJ's equipment.  They often don't get much in tips especially with this younger crowd.  For most people it never dawns on them that tipping a KJ might make them put you up more.  Like a bartender, they take bribes.

What separates a good KJ from a GREAT KJ to me other than an awesome sound system is fairness.  It's hard to corral these drunk people.  KJ's get harassed all the time.  The sure fire way to make SURE you don't get up soon is to hound your KJ about when you're up next.  They don't get any respect because as people always say, "well, it's not like they're doing anything but playing cd's, so what.  They're not even making real music or spinning like a real DJ."  They have never been to karaoke with award winning KJs like Glenny Kravitz & Roger Niner or saxy DJ Purple.  These KJ's take the occupation to a whole new level.  They're definitely not your average passive, quiet, stereotypical cd changing KJ.  They are active jump around, back up vocal, as well as air guitar, and saxophone soloing KJs that will make you look and sound awesome!  They take karaoke and turn it into performance art.

Slowly but surely karaoke has entered the modern age.  Everything can be downloaded online nowadays.  You can store all your music on a laptop instead of lugging around a pallet of equipment.  For a tip, you can have a KJ download a song right on the spot if you really must have it now!  All that software, memory, laptop, back up discs, soundboard, cables, microphones, monitors, and speakers cost!  If a venue doesn't have it's own PA for you to plug into, you must bring your own!  Other KJs still use cds with a library catalog where you must still put a number down not just the artist and song title.

This doesn't include the printing costs of their song books or slips.  Some opt to be more environmentally conscious, economical, and use a clipboard.  The drawback is that clipboard goes for a walk sometimes, and it's hard to find in a dark cavernous bar or club full of demanding drunks.  After all that time and money invested in equipment earning a spot at a bar or club, sometimes the sound quality STILL isn't that great because the acoustics at a the location are just poor.  One such place was Beale Street Annex Bar and Grill with KJ Steve Sladon.  It had really poor sound upstairs with it's plastic corrugated drafty roof.  Alas with the building of the new improved San Francisco Transbay Terminal underway, this place no longer exists and is currently relocating.

Quick turn over and announcing who is up next is very important.  Everyone is selfish.  Everyone is waiting to hear their name.  That's all they care about.  When am I up next???  That's when you know you're hooked.  You can't WAIT for your turn.  A good KJ doesn't linger too long between each song.  He announces the next few singers if it's a packed night to give folks a chance to get back from the bar with their drink unspilled, have a smoke outside, wash their hands before leaving the bathroom, and not have to fight their way through the crowd to get to the mic before they're skipped.  There's one KJ I know that I just simply despise because he just sits there flirting with girls while music plays and no one is singing.  That's not how it's done!  He would let a whole 5 minute song play while working the crowd cruising for chicks.

I was VERY disappointed in Barry-oke on Saturday night at Pandora Karaoke & Bar.  I do recall one show he attended where he witnessed a lively crowd conga dancing in a line that wormed its way all the way around the bar.  He stood there visibly jealous.  No one does that at his shows.  Nobody.  Why?  He sucks.  Putting bumper music in between songs for logner than it takes to announce the next singer and allow them to get up within a minute is negligible and the equivalent of DEAD AIR on the radio or television.  It JUST ISN'T done.  At venues like The Mint on Market and Duboce Streets and Encore Karaoke Lounge on California and Polk Streets, you don't see this type of misuse of time because they are SO busy that's a luxury they just can't afford!  You wanna see an angry mob of selfish people go to either The Mint or Encore on a Friday or Saturday night and see how you fare getting away with that!  The only exception to this rule of course, is Kendoke.  He actually has  DJ Alonso spinning in between his karaoke tracks and singers.  This dynamic duo can be found on Groove Mondays at The Cellar on Sutter and Taylor Streets in the Tenderloin.

Let's review!  Shall we?

KJ Commandments:

Thou shalt have decent equipment
Thou shalt keep the list holy (unless paid a large sum to jump the line of course)
Thou shalt not let "dead air" come to pass

So it is written!  So let it be done!

Five Reasons You Think You Don’t Like Karaoke.

AUG 3

Posted by Dani

My friends and I do karaoke fairly regularly, usually at least once a week. I find hanging out in bars incredibly boring, but karaoke gives you something to do, something to talk about, and a really good excuse to yell. If there is one thing I really like to do when I get tipsy it is yell, which is much less acceptable in a typical bar setting. So why does everyone seem to think karaoke is a passtime similar to getting dental work done? Well, it is because sometimes it can be. Let me take you on a Journey* into the top 5 reasons you think you don’t like karaoke.

Not you.

*Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ exemplifies #5

#5 : Over-done Karaoke Standards

Some of these are good, fun songs, and I have even sung them when I was a karaoke noob myself. This might be something that only bothers veterans, but here is a short list of popular songs that get done to death and become karaoke old hat. Including, but not limited to:
+ Bohemian Rhapsody; I know it was in Wayne’s World. I know it is fun to sing; I know Queen rocks. Queen has lots better songs though, srsly.
+ Black Velvet/Fever; if you are a bar skank you might not be able to chemically resist singing one of these. Try though.
+ Love Shack/Summer Nights/Picture; duets are tempting cause your buddy gets to join you, but these duets hurt my heart. You don’t do a good Fred Schneider, okay? No one does.

#4 : Too Long/Repetitive

Be mindful of the time. I personally think there should be a law against songs over 5 minutes but any song is going to seem longer when there is a monitor telling everyone about the 45 measure musical break. Shorter songs leave your audience wanting more, or at least with less time to think about your performance. Time isn’t the only factor: if you can’t think of more than one line of lyrics in a song, that might be because there are very few others. Turns out the only lyrics in I Know What Boys Like are “I know what boys like.” Over and over again.  Repeating the same thing multiple times can make a song seem hours long, as can the song actually BEING too long. That is why the worst thing you can do to yourself is to sing American Pie, trust me.

#3 : Downers

There are a lot of terrible songs in the world that will not be made better by amateurs singing them. But surprisingly there are a lot of pretty good songs in the world that make for awful karaoke. Of course, there is no accounting for taste and you might love Hotel California (even though it is complete shit) but doing it at karaoke has been proven to be no fun for anyone. Avoid the Downer! If a song on the radio ever made you tear up, then don’t inflict it on a room full of people trying to party. Slow, sad songs have their place, they can be beautiful and moving, but without fail they bore the pants off of drunks. Not literally, unfortunately.

#2 : Freestyle

Hopefully you have never had to experience this, but sometimes aspiring rap stars will sign up for a song and then freestyle rap over it. This always turns out the same way, which is boring and annoying. It is usually accompanied by some embarrassing peacocking and/or random shit talk on something, which can be scary depending on how drunk and how white trash the crowd is. There is another less forward way to freestyle, but I think even MORE annoying, it is to egregiously over-sing/add vibrato to the end of every line of the song. Both versions are teeth-grindingly bad and make the singer look like a total jackass.

#1 : Shy Guy

When I tell people that I do karaoke the response is always the same. First, “OH GAWD, DO YOU SING?!?” followed by, “I WOULD HAVE TO BE SOOOO DRUNK TO SING.” Of all the karaoke faux pas I have identified, arguably the hardest to watch is the shy-person-who-thinks-they-are-drunk-enough-to-sing/shy-person-who-is-drunk-enough-to-be-bullied-by-their-asshole-friends-into-singing. These shy guys start confident, but when the music starts and they are on, they suddenly go silent. They might mumble a line here or there, maybe speak up a little around the chorus. Other than that they spend the whole time thinking this works just like the National Anthem, moving their mouths but not actually singing anything. Wastes valuable yelling time if you ask me.

All these things can bring down a night of otherwise super fun, singing, drinking, and ROCKING. Notice that there is nothing on the list about not being a talented singer. This is because talent in singing is the least important factor of good karaoke. The key is to bring the energy and bring the fun! So if you think you don’t like karaoke, you might.  Try avoiding the above and combating them when encountered with energetic fun shit and yelling. Or, turn it around on a group of karaoke downers with what we like to call Asshole Karaoke. If you can’t beat ‘em, SEE HOW THEY LIKE IT.